My Birthday

A few weeks ago it was my birthday. I am 25 now. I don't feel very old until I talk to people that I went to High School with. Most of them are not married, let alone have a house and kids. It makes me feel like I'm too old for my age. But I sure do love my husband and kids, so I would not trade them for the world.

So what did I do on my birthday? Well, the kids and I went to the park in the morning. When Joel came home I got my birthday present: Cows! Just what I always wanted! (Please read sarcastically.) There are three of them. One for us, one for Bill and Katherine, and one for Bishop Hansen. Since we had them, we barely see them. They are out on the pasture somewhere, hanging out by the fence next to our neighbor's cows.

Jack was so excited to get cows. We go for a walk everyday and see cows. He stepped right up to the plate to do what he needed to do to take care of his own. He was so cute trying to bring some water for the calfs. Hopefully the cows were able to share the bowl that was only 1/8 full. :)

(He really is happier than he looks.)

Another picture from the day. The horses were curious about their new neighbors.

That night, Joel arranged for Bill to watch Jack so he could take me to town to eat some dinner. We went to this place someone at work recommended to Joel, saying that it was on the nicer side with good food. So we thought we would give it a go.

When we got there, we had the strangest experience. The first thing they said when we walked into the door was that they didn't have any highchairs. I told them that was okay since Sage couldn't even sit up yet. So they eventually led us into the little dining area - they rearranged a table into the middle of the room and had us sit. And then we waited...and waited. A couple at another table started to leave (we guess they were waiting forever too) but the waitress stopped them and they sat back down. As we were sitting there, the worst feeling came over us. I was trying to ignore it, but I could feel that I was trying to keep my entire body from shaking. Joel started to have cold sweats. Thankfully Sage was happy and as cute as could be. It would have been really bad if she was cranky, like she so often is. It was just a terrible atmosphere. So we looked at each other and decided to leave. Once we got enough nerve to walk out of the restaurant (neither one of us had done that before) we ran for the door, avoiding the waitress. This feeling did not leave us until we went to a restaurant that we had been to many times before. A Mexican restaurant with great guacamole. The change of atmosphere was amazing. As soon as we walked in, everyone who worked there was cooing over Sage - even while I was feeding her! So the evening ended up really nice. But we are never going back to that other place.

A few days later, Joel made me my birthday cake. It was white cake with cream cheese frosting. (Sage and chocolate do not mix well at all, so I avoid it at all costs.) Here are a few shots from the night.

Licking the icing off the candles is one of my favorite things to do on my birthday. I tried to show this to Jack, but he kept biting the candle, so I had to finish it off my self.

Even Sage liked got a taste ;)

Happy Birthday to all those who celebrate theirs the same day - my niece Liliana; Cedar Harper (my friend Kim's little girl); and my friend Amelia's niece.

A Talent Discovered

Joel is a man of many talents. He is my Renaissance Man. We've been married for 5 1/2 yrs now. You'd think that I would have a grasp on many of his talents. Oh, no. He never ceases to amaze me.

The other day I was playing with the kids on our bed. We have a big log cabin style of bed. I don't know how, but I got a sliver from the bed. I am such a wuss for pain. After a day or two of limping around, Joel finally attacked me with a needle and tweezers. He was amazing! It hurt, yes, but he was so kind and understanding and had expert skills of removing a deep, long, thin, sliver. I was totally impressed!

Jack

Believe it or not, but I really do have a handsome little boy. You would never guess it looking at pictures. Ever since we went to California, he has learned to smile for the camera. And now it is impossible for him to NOT smile when the camera is out. He looks like he is in pain. It is too funny.

Why this focus on Jack? Well, this morning he had another seizure. So before I forget all the details, I decided to write them down. We are going to Portland on the 30th for an EEG and an MRI. We are going for sure to this one. Thank goodness we did not cancel the appointment with the specialist in November.

This morning Jack slept in. It was getting to the point that I was going to check on him because I was going to get worried that something was wrong. Then I heard Jack at his bedroom door. He was so happy with himself because he had gotten out of bed and opened his bedroom door all by himself. He turned, wanting me to help him lift the rail up on his crib. I did so. As he bent down to lift the rail he cringed his neck, put his hand on his head and started crying. I recognized this from last time, so I took him in my arms, called his name (as if I was going to snap him out of it), and layed him on the ground. The crying stopped. He was unresponsive, but still breathing. His body jerked once or twice. His eyes weren't rolling around crazy style like last time, but were more avoiding eye contact. It lasted less than a minute. Then he came to, and started crying again. Then it was over. We had some quiet time, Sis in the Bjorn, me holding and rocking Jack, and then had breakfast. He is totally fine now.

Last time it was a little more traumatic. Jack was getting down from a kitchen chair, and did the same head jerk, started to cry and put his hand on his head like he hit it. (I was sitting there watching him, so I know he did not hit his head.) He came to me for comfort. He suddenly stopped crying and dropped backwards onto the tile floor, hitting his head really hard. No crying. Unresponsive. Very still except for his eyes. His eyes rolled side to side, back and forth, like crazy. I was too busy trying to get him to snap out of it to take note if he was breathing or not. He finally came to, crying, but was calling my name and looking for me, not seeing me, even though I was right there. It was longer this first time, still in the 1 minute range. He cried for quite a bit afterwards, but then was fine. It was just really wierd.

Jack is such a good little boy. I love him so very much. It has almost been 2 years now - and every night I fall asleep thinking of him, with a big smile on face. He really is a joy to be with...most of the times, that is. He does have toddler moments. I'm not looking foward to Thursday, but I do feel it neccessary. Drawing blood was very traumatic for all involved, let alone sedatation through an IV. Fun, fun. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Family Car

Joel is a planner. And, for those who know nothing about him, he is also a car guy. When you put the two together, you get Joel looking for a bigger, family car for us. (No, this is not an announcement - just looking ahead.) My only requirement is that it has to be a four-door.

One car I fell in love with is this:

I think it is totally awesome. If we put a seat in the very back, a backwards one like the oldsmobile we had growing up, it would be pretty sweet. I remember making faces at the people in the car following us. Though it would make it hard to put groceries in there with the kids.

We are thinking maybe about a Suburban too. Yes, a gas guzzler. But seeing how I don't go anywhere anyways, it wouldn't make that much of a difference. We figured out the numbers: an old gas guzzlin' 'burb vs. a car payment of a new minivan - the Suburban would be cheaper. Plus I would look much cooler driving one around than a minivan.

Apples, Vomit and Preparing For Tomorrow

On Wednesday Jack, Sage and I went with Bill and Katherine, the famous John and Linda Sanchez family, and Natalie Sanders from church to the parents of some other people in the ward to go pick apples. They have a HUGE orchard with well cared for Golden Delicious Apples. And they really are delicious. We could pick as much as we wanted and could take them all for free! My kind of deal! It was a really nice morning, very enjoyable, and Jack didn't throw a tantrum when I told him it was time to stop playing inside Natalie's car with her keys and to continue to pick apples from the trees. Today, Friday, we started to can applesauce. So far we have about 38 quarts and some pints full of applesauce. We have about 1/3 of the apples that we picked for us left and we ran out of jars. Well, not just us, I guess all of Western Idaho, Eastern Oregon and Washington are out of canning jars. This must have been a popular year. We are planning to make some apple pie filling and maybe drying some apples too. The rest we'll give to people at Joel's work or church.

To end our canning day (which Bill and Katherine did most of the work while I fed Sage, kept an eye on Jack, and made dinner [I made Joel's fav. hamburger buns] I am SOOOO grateful to all of their help), Jack vomited all over me, Sage (who was eating mama's milk) and the couch. Very pleasant indeed. My poor little guy. He's so pitiful when he is sick. I threw him in the bath and washed the couch and floor as best I can. He fell asleep in my arms just past 7:00 (keep in mind that we woke him up at 5:00 from his nap). It is 9:30 now and he just woke up crying - no vomit thankfully. He was burning up so I gave him medicine and Joel gave him a priesthood blessing. He is such a good little boy.

Instead of cleaning up the kitchen I'm sitting here gathering my thoughts. On Sunday the Relief Society asked Katherine and I to teach a class for tomorrow's Super Saturday. It is supposed to be on journaling. We are supposed to do a little talk and then make journaling jars. We are going to teach for 45 mins, for two class sessions. With the abundance of time that we had to prepare we decided to split it up - I'll do the talking and Katherine will be in charge of the jars, seeing that she is a dutiful papercrafter and that they just did this same activity in Young Women's. I'm using this time to gather my thoughts. After reading a bunch of talks Katherine printed off for me to read about journals, here is a basic outline/organizational entry. So if you are not interested, don't feel obliged to read:

I remember my first journal. It was when I was 5 or 6 years old. My family had just moved from the Washington DC area to Portland, Oregon. We were living in a Residence Inn type of place, waiting for our house to finish being built. I remember that my Grandma and Grandpa came to visit us there. They brought me a journal. I was excited, and I remember writing in it and then putting it under my bed. I wrote something along the lines of, "I like my Grandma, she likes flowers. I like my Grandpa too, but he gives wet, sloppy kisses." The next day when saying goodbye to my grandparents, either because they were leaving or because I was going to school, my Grandpa gave me a hug and kiss and said, "Who says I give wet kisses!" I was mortified. I don't know who or what, but obviously someone had gone and read my diary. That was the last entry of that journal.

When I was 9 or 10, I got another journal in primary and wrote in that one off and on, on a not so regular basis. I have it now and some parts are so funny to read. When I was in High School and even into College I wrote music, lyrics and poems to get me through hard times. This collection is a type of journal to me. I have had countless journals where I try to start with my life story but was too far behind and there was too much to write so I would become discouraged and stop. In College I started writing in a journal when I went to go do baptisms for the dead at the Salt Lake Temple. It was more my testimony at that time than anything else. Once I got married, I stopped going as often to do baptisms so that was the end of that book. And now, I would say that I am a pretty regular blogger. This suits me perfectly because I have terrible hand writing and type much faster anyways. I write about current events and reminisce periodially. I plan to print them out someday to have a hard copy. Why am I sharing all this? Well, because we are talking about journals!

Even from the time of Adam, Abraham, and Moses, we have been counseled to be a record-keeping people. "You may think of them as not being as highly educated as we are, but they were well-trained people. Adam spent much effort being the school teacher for his children. He and Eve taught their sons and daughters. He taught them the gospel in their home evenings, and he taught them reading and writing and arithmetic. And they kept their books of rememberance. How else do you think Moses, many hundreds of years later, got the information? These records had been kept, and he referred to them and got the history of the world, which wasn't in any library other than that." (Spencer W. Kimball, New Era, December 1980)

Even in the Book of Mormon, Nephi kept two records. The one that we read from includes his personal history and spiritual experiences. Joined with that of the same from other authors, we have sacred scripture. When Christ came to America he asked to see the record kept, but found it lacking and not up to date. (See 3 Nephi 23:6-13)

Besides being commanded to by the Lord, why should we keep journals?

• "What could you do better for your children and your children's children that to record the story of your life, your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved. Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity." (Kimball, 1980)
• President Eyring told of an experience of watching his father-in-law giving service to him and his family and then heard in his mind these words: "I'm not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down." (Henry B. Eyring, Liahona, November 2007)
• "But my life isn't at all interesting," you protest. Perhaps it doesn't seem interesting to you now, but a hundred years from now your great-great-grandchildren will be fascinated to know what happened during your time on earth."(Jeanne W. Pittman, Liahona, February 1988)
• "Any Latter-day Saint family that has searched genealogical and historical records has fervently wished its ancestors had kept better and more complete records...I promise you that if you will keep you journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to your families, to your children, you grandchildren, and others, on through the generations." (Kimball, 1980)

• Maybe one day you will be one of the future leaders of the church whose life will be an important part of scriptures yet to be written. (Pittman, 1988)

• "Those who keep a personal journal are more likely to keep the Lord in remembrance in their daily lives" (Kimball, 1980)
• A journal (can) become a vehicle for seeing God's interaction with us. 'It helps you get closer in touch with the Lord's time frame, when you can read your own intimate history over a period of months rather tahn days. Patterns emerge, and you can see more clearly the hand of the Lord in your life. You can see how he has helped you and answered some prayers by events, not revelations, in a quiet way that escaped you in the press of cricumstances.' (Janet Brigham, Ensign, December 1980)

• 'Keeping a journal gives you a chance to let some whisperings trickle through you from your own spirit, as well as from the Spirit of the Lord.' (Brigham, 1980)

• The act of writing in a journal can help a person deal with emotional pressures. Some people who don't intend to keep journals - and some who don't even want to - find themselves writing as a they try to cope with difficulties. Writing can help you express some of the emotions - until you can let go of the feelings, learn from the experience, and consider appropriate alternatives. (Brigham, 1980)

• A journal can also be a tool for self-evaluation and self-improvement. 'We examine our lives as we come to know ourselves through our journals. Even if you take your journal and go back a year, you learn things about yourself you didn't know at the time. You understand things about yourself. In knowledge begins real freedom of the soul and the spirit, and a real chance to be all that we can be and all that we should be.' (Brigham, 1980)

• Memories are inadequate. (William G. Hartley, New Era, March 1977)

What do journals look like?

• Notebook and Bound Books
• Computers and Blogs
• Letters and Emails
• Scrapbooking (Ask yourself - if someone saw this page in 50 years from now, would they know who these people/places are?)
• Media sources (ie tape recorders, video tapes, etc)
• Spiritual or Gratitude Journal
• Study Journal
• Calenders (Grandma Tanner does this - just jots down on the calender what happened during the day)
• Meeting Journals

What do we write about? (Use as an entry to Journal Jars)

• Before you write, ask yourself: "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?" (Eyring, 2007)
• Don't begin by trying to catch up your life history first. You may find time later for a retrospective life story, but start off now by writing about current things. (Hartley, 1977)
• Mainly you need to tell about the who, what, where, when and why type of things. Certainly religious experieces and thoughts deserve special emphasis. (Hartley, 1977)
• Obviously earth-shaking matter deserve comment, but so do your everyday experiences. And rather than simply listing what you did, where you went or who you were with, offer some explanation and give your thoughts and reactions. Tell why you did something, how you reached the decision, what your part-time job was like. (Harley, 1977)
• Your journal should contain a tru self rather than a picture of you when you are "made up" for a public performance. (Kimball, 1980)

"We hope you will begin as of this date. If you have not already commenced this important duty in your lives, get a good notebook, a good book that will last through time and into eternity for the angels to look upon. Your journal is your autobiography, so it should be kept carefully. You are unique and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life. Begin today and write in it your goings and your comings, you deeper thoughts, your achievements, and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. We hope you will do this, our...sisters, for this is what the Lord has commanded..." (Kimball, 1980)

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Sage is 12 weeks!

It is super crazy how time flies. I can't believe that it has been 3 months already. I started to look back to Jack's 3 month photos. Do you think they look similar? (Jack is on the left, Sage on the right)

These Boots Were Made For Walking

I love this photo:

Every once in a while Joel has to take a load of feed to various places if the product doesn't get on the truck. When this happens, he likes to take Jack along with him for the ride. A few months ago, the boys came home with a little surprise. Joel took the boy shopping and they came home with a pair of boots for Jack. We always thought they were so cute but thought it too much of an indulgence. But Joel felt it time that Jack got his own pair. Jack LOVES them and wears them ALL the time. Now that we have them we didn't know what took us so long to get them. They really protect his feet and legs with all the sand, goat heads, stickers, sage brush, tall grass, and whatever else we may find in this lovely terrain. And they are great for doing chores...

I guess the only problem is that Jack now feels he can go anywhere, no matter how rough the ground or tall the grass. If you turn away for 5 seconds, where Jack was playing on the porch, you'll look back to this:

Where is Jack?!?! Take a closer look:

Ahh that boy...out in the pasture playing with cow patties...

Thank goodness for those boots.

Last Week

What a crazy week.

On Monday Joel and I went to the dentist, our new one in Tri-Cities. Always good to do. It was like a date because Joel stayed for both appointments so we could take turns with Sis (the only name Sage will know), we went to lunch afterwards, and Bill and Katherine had Jack. Only, it turns out that Jack isn't the one we should have been worried about. Geni [Jen-ee], our dog, got hit by a truck! Well, she actually ran into it. I guess Simba, Bill and Katherine's German Shepherd, started chasing a truck on the street and Geni started chasing too. Obviously our dog has not honed the desired skill of chasing cars because she ran into the back tire. Her hip is all out of joint and she is wrapped up, having to stay in a 4x4 area for 7 days. She is in a lot of pain, that poor dog. She should be fine though.

Tuesday was another fun day. Jack woke up cranky and after about an hour of crying I decided to make him some Rooibus tea to cheer him up. Sounds nice, right? I sat him up with his tea on a normal chair in the kitchen, turned to get my tea and WHAM Jack was on the ground. More screaming and crying. (Yes, this is the SAME chair Jack was on when he had a seizure - which FYI we decided to hold off on the MRI and EEG.) Jack refused to stand, let alone walk, and was constantly screaming for the next 2 hrs. Not even playing and the car with the keys stopped him from screaming. For those who know Jack, he is obsessed with keys and playing in cars, so this was a tell-tale sign that something was wrong. I called the doctor and they could fit him in that afternoon. Here is Jack pictured a few days ago when he thought Peanut Butter would make lovely shampoo:

So waiting for the doctor's appointment....waiting....more non stop screaming and crying (yes - after a few hours, all 3 of us were crying). Then I had one of those moments. I was sitting next to Geni's confinement, attempting to put her on a leash so we could take her to go potty, trying to feed a hungry screaming Sage, Jack screaming and climbing on top of me - I just started to pray over and over and again, "Father, I need help. Father, I need help." Do you remember on the Lord of The Rings, the first movie, when Frodo got stabbed and Arwen made her first angelic appearance? Just beautiful. Time stood still. The light that shined from her. The singing in the background. Okay, I don't know if there really was singing in the background, but there was for me at that moment because through the door my angel came, whisked up Jack, who stopped screaming and crying immediately. Joel came home from work to give me help! It is a 20 minute drive home for Joel but there he was right when I need him. Here is Jack and Joel on our way down to California a few weeks ago.

Joel really saved the day. He set us up with a snack, entertainment, sleeping facilities, and everything I needed to get through until nap time. And then just as quickly as he came, he was gone. Back to work. It turns out that Jack sprained his ankle. The x-rays didn't show any break, which surprised the doctor. The nurses thought that Jack had cute Fred Flinstone feet and so photocopied one of the x-rays for us. Only today, Sunday, has Jack started to put weight on his foot and walk around. The entire week he has been carried or crawled very gingerly to get around.

Wednesday. Yes, we are only here. It really was a long week. I had to bring Sage in to get her 2 month shots. The doctor's office ran out of shots when we went in for her check-up so I had to bring her back in. Weird, huh? Holy cow, this girl is a wuss. She cried and screamed and cried some more, long after the shots stopped bleeding. Inconsolable. I finally gave up and just drove home. I think she wore herself out and fell asleep with assistance from the vibrating car. But when we got home, more upsetness. Here is Sage how I always hope she is, but there was defintely none of this for the rest of that evening and good part of the next day:

Thursday was MUCH better. The morning was all about me. A well deserved break if you ask me. I got my hair done! I hadn't had it cut or colored since December/January-ish. Those who have seen me know that I was pretty sorry looking. I feel so much more like myself now with my hair not being my natural color. I'm still trying to decide if I like it - and I think I do. The bangs are really throwing me off.

Friday was uneventful, thankfully. Even though Jack was a gimp and could not stand up because of his ankle, he still managed to get out of his crib and also escaped out the front door without me knowing. With the sand and the stickers in the sand he didn't get too far with his crawling.

Saturday was General Conference. The morning didn't start out too well out our house (no details will be given), but ended good because I was able to cook and clean up from dinner, bake a couple loaves of bread, bathe the kids and have them in their pjs by the time Joel came home from priesthood session. I felt very accomplished. Now, if I fit a shower in for myself, I would be have been able to be translated. I'm sure of it. That would have meant I reached perfection.

And that brings us to today - where I've stayed up way too late but feel good unwinding from the week, hopefully geared up to take another one on. I sure love my kids. I'm totally crazy about them. Oh, but I do love that they sleep more than I do so I can have at least a little bit of time to breathe deeply by myself.

Signing out.

Blow Out

See this beautiful face?

Who would such a cute little thing could cause so much destruction?

Today we had a blow out that had all three of us taking bath. My jeans were saturated, and it even made its way to Jack's hair...

Pretty powerful stuff.

Honey Do List

Lately I've been feeling that there is just SOOOO much to do that I feel like I'm not having time to do anything. But I'm going going going, so you'd think I would get something accomplished? I like to think that once I get done the things that have to get done that I'd get to the things I want to get done. Baby steps...

On my list of things that I want to do is to update the blog so I can have some sort of journaling of our life. Included in this is to take, download, and edit pictures. I have a slew of things I want to write down. So here is part of my blog-posts list:

• Sage's Blessing (I still need to take a picture of her in her blessing dress)

• Ode to Joel (Man, he is a good dad, and his kids are sure crazy about him. Past few days Jack randomly asks where dad is, I say work, and Jack starts to freak out and points to himself - his way of saying that he wants to go to Daddy's work....yeah....real fun...)

• California Trip (First time for family and friends to see both Sage and Jack)

• PIGS (yes, we have pigs now - 2 of them! They are adorable. Pics to come)

• Jack's seizure - next Friday he has an EEG and is to be sedated for an MRI

• My personal thoughts about daily life - when doing Jack's chores, even though mundane and makes me want to pull my hair out at times, I can't help but smile because this is great, and I couldn't be happier with my life and my kids. I tear up just thinking about it.

• General update on kids - like today, Sage had her 2 month check up. She is in the 95th percentile for both height and weight. 12 lbs 3 oz and 23 3/4 inches long. I need a picture of her smile, it is to die for.

To end off, here are some recent pics, not the best, but picture nonetheless, of all of us with head bands on. I thought Sage looked like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Yes, completely unrelated to the post, but little moments like these make my heart smile.